First retreat alone at 61 with bad knees, will I just hold everyone up

My daughter has been on at me for two years to "do something for myself" and I have finally found a gentle yoga and walking week that looks lovely, small group, quiet place by a lake. The problem is me. I am 61, I have arthritis in both knees (the right one is worse, I have been told it will need doing eventually), and I have never done yoga in my life.

I keep picturing a room full of thirty year olds folding themselves in half while I am on the floor trying to work out how to get back up. And the walks say "moderate", which could mean anything.

I would be going on my own as well, which is a whole other worry. Has anyone gone to one of these at my age, with joints like mine, and was it fine or did you spend the week feeling like the slow one?

Teacher here, so I see this from the front of the room. Honestly the person you are describing is one of my favourite people to teach, because they listen and they do not try to force anything.

Any decent teacher will give you blocks, a bolster, a chair if you want one, and will show you an alternative for anything that loads the knees. Kneeling postures are the main thing, and a folded blanket under the knee or simply doing the pose standing or seated fixes most of them. Tell the teacher on day one, before the first class, not halfway through.

Getting down to and up from the floor is a fair worry. Ask if they have chairs in the studio. Most places do and nobody thinks twice.

I went alone to my first one this summer and I was a wreck about it beforehand (there is a thread somewhere here of me fretting about the sharing circle). The solo part was the thing I worried about most and it turned out to matter least. Half the group were on their own. You end up at the same table by the second evening without trying.

And there was a woman of about seventy on mine who did every class from a chair and was the calmest person there. Nobody was watching anyone.

Pauline H. said:

the walks say moderate, which could mean anything

You will not hold anyone up at a decent retreat, and the fact that you are thinking about it this carefully suggests you will book well. The short answer is that gentle yoga weeks are very used to beginners, older guests and people with sore joints; the bit that actually needs checking is the walking, because that is where "moderate" hides a lot.

So ask them three specific things before you pay. How long are the walks, in hours and distance, and how much climbing or uneven ground? Is there always an option to skip a walk, or a shorter route, without being left alone at the house all day? And are the classes taught with props and chairs as standard? A good place answers in plain numbers. If the reply is "all levels welcome" and nothing else, ask again.

The knees themselves are a question for whoever looks after them at home. Your GP or a physiotherapist can tell you what sort of movement suits your joints and what to go easy on, and it is worth asking them before you go, partly so you can tell the teacher something more useful than "bad knees". Put it on the health form too, and ask who actually reads it.

On going alone, Helena is right that it is far more common than people expect, and the solo wellness retreats piece has the practical side, including the single supplement, which catches a lot of people out. If you want the gentle first retreat checklist in one place, wellness retreats for beginners is the one I would read with a cup of tea before you book.

Just to add, ask for the walking distances in writing. I have been on two "gentle" weeks where gentle meant very different things.

Thank you all. I did as you said and emailed. The reply came back with actual numbers: walks of about two hours on mostly flat lakeside paths, one longer hill walk midweek that is optional with a shorter loop offered, and chairs and blocks in every class. They also asked me to put the knees on the form, which I took as a good sign. Saw the physio last week too, who was very relaxed about it and gave me a couple of things to avoid. Booked for next week.

Home again, and I am almost cross with myself for how much I worried. I did most of the classes with a blanket under my knees and two from a chair, skipped the hill walk and had a very happy afternoon reading by the water instead. There were three of us over sixty and nobody cared in the slightest. The teacher came and found me before the first class because she had read the form. I am already looking at another one in the spring.